Disney Magical Mindset Podcast

ADHD: From Self-Sabotage To Superpower

• Ruben R. Rios • Episode 60

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0:00 | 24:40

When I was diagnosed with ADHD, I didn’t feel relieved.

I felt ashamed. I questioned myself. I replayed old mistakes. I wondered if something had been “wrong” with me all along.

In this episode, I’m getting real about the guilt, the self-criticism, and the self-sabotage that followed, and how I learned to flip the script.

Because what if the thing you think is holding you back, is actually your superpower?

We’re talking about:

  • The connection between shame and self-sabotage
  • How to “capture” negative thoughts before they control you                          
  • Disney characters who turned their problem into power                                     
  • And how your struggle isn't the villain but the origin of your strength

If you’ve ever felt behind, broken, distracted, anxious, too much, or not enough, this one’s for you!

Helping you silence the villain in your mind and become the hero of your story!

Ruben :

Hey pals, welcome back to the Disney Magical Mindset Podcast. My name is Ruben, your Disney Magic Mentor. And if you love Disney, if you love learning how to take the Disney magic and apply it to your life, if you're ready to silence the villain in your mind so you can become the hero of your story, I want you to know you're in the right place. Thank you so much for being here. Today's episode is a little different. It's personal. You see, uh recently I was officially diagnosed with ADHD. And I've kind of gone back and forth on whether or not to share that. I knew at some point I wanted to, because I want people to be encouraged. I want you to know if you're listening to today and you have ADHD or something that is a challenge mentally or physically, emotionally, I want you to feel like you're not alone. I want you to believe that you're not alone. And when I found out, um, I didn't really feel empowered, honestly, when um I met with my counselor and and you know, she diagnosed my ADHD and kind of told me that of all the people that she's like worked with, that I was the only one that like really excelled in the whole testing. In other words, like across the board, I was like scoring like these high levels of ADHD. And and honestly, um, I felt embarrassed. I felt guilty. I felt shame. And you know, I really felt like something was wrong with me. And there was a moment when like I was really discouraged. Um, and it was it was a place that I had never been before because I didn't even know this uh about me. Um and and I want to talk about that today, if that's okay. I I want to lean into this and I hope that it will be encouraging to you. And um, I'm so grateful for this community. I'm so thankful for you, and and I'm I'm looking forward to talking about this ADHD. And um, I'm grateful for the opportunity to share with you today. Because if you've ever felt like your struggle, your mental health, your wiring, your past is holding you back, this one's for you. Are you ready? Because here we go. When I got the diagnoses uh from my amazing psychologist, like she's amazing, this counselor. And first of all, it's always great when you find like that right counselor connection, you know, where you're really growing and becoming better as a result of um, you know, that professional guidance and help. So super grateful. Shout out. Um, but when I got the diagnosis, I, you know, I, as I mentioned, I struggled a little bit. On the one hand, it started to make sense. Like when I looked at um my actions and and things um that I was doing or or uh or or not doing, you know, in life, it started to explain some things. Um, but then it it quickly early on, you know, when I first you know discovered and started wrestling through this reality of of this ADHD, it it started to change from now this feeling like I have been the problem the whole time. You ever felt like that, where you feel like you're the problem and you're the one who messes up and you take the the brunt of everything, like you take that responsibility. So on the one hand, it's a good thing, but then you carry that like you're the one who messes things up. Yeah, like that's that's kind of how I was feeling. And and I replayed those moments in my head, you know, why I seem to struggle to focus sometimes, or why I'd overcommit, or why I'd procrastinate, or why I'd be incredibly hard on myself, like self-critical, you know, um, or why I was always like striving for perfection. You know what I mean? And and that self-criticism, it got really loud. And the first thing you have to understand about things that are loud is that loud doesn't equal large and volume doesn't equal velocity, especially with other people, right? Now, now we're gonna talk about the those loud voices, like those personal self-loud voices that that seem to be loud in our mind, you know, and in our heart, but like there are people who who are also loud. And you have to always remember that loud, the loud people in your life or on the job, or those uh critics and those negative folks, like they don't equal large. Loud doesn't equal large and volume doesn't equal velocity. And that has helped me so much because it it feels like that. Like when it gets loud, it feels like everyone believes that about you, everyone feels that about you. You know what I mean? Or or that's what everybody must be thinking, but that's not true. It's usually, it's usually the few that um seem the loudest, right? But that's just that's just not reality, you know, where it makes it seem like everybody's like that, but it's not. So for me, like I started to get really critical, right? And it started to get really loud uh personally in my life, you know, things like you should be further along, or other leaders don't struggle like this, you know, it's it's it feels like you're all alone, or what's wrong with you, Ruben? You know, or why don't you um do this? And why aren't you at this place in your life at this stage of your life? You know, like all those things. And and here's what I realize self-sabotage isn't always rebellion. Let me explain. When we hear self-sabotage, we we usually picture someone being reckless or lazy or they're undisciplined, like they just don't care. And that's the rebellion version, right? But but a lot of the time, it's not rebellion at all. It's protection. It's your brain trying to keep you safe from something it perceives as risky, like rejection or failure, embarrassment, or not being enough. You ever feel like you're not enough? For example, you you might procrastinate on the project, not because you're defiant, but because if you never fully try, you never fully fail. Or you overthink instead of deciding, not because you you love drama, but because certainty feels safer than vulnerability. Um, or you pull back when something starts going well. Are any of you ever like in that boat? Not because you don't want it, but because success raises the stakes, right? It raises the bar. So that's not rebellion, that's just fear dressed up as logic. And then when shame is involved, like with ADHD, like what I um experience or have experienced, you know, anxiety, comparison, insecurity, whatever, self-sabotage can become a quiet, coping strategy. If I don't try, I can't disappoint anyone. If I stay small, I won't be exposed. You know, things like if I delay, I won't be judged. You see the difference? So rebellion says, I don't care, but self-protection says, I'm scared. And that's why this matters so much. Like that line matters so much, you know, that that uh self-sabotage isn't always rebellion. When you begin to realize your self-sabotage isn't you being bad, it's it's just you being afraid. You can then begin to respond with compassion instead of more self-criticism, right? With forgiveness, uh forgiving yourself instead of always feeling like a failure. And we're gonna talk about that. So hang in there, and then we're gonna bring the Disney spin because you know how we do it. And and you begin to realize you start to have this that this compassion, and you start seeing compassion is what actually breaks the cycle. You know, and and sometimes, yeah, it's shame. Um, and remember the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is like feeling bad or you know, guilty for something you have done. Shame is something you feel you are. So you're ashamed for being a failure, or you're ashamed for um uh who you are or who you believe you are, right? So, so it I'm telling you, man, this this thing is real. And and I'm I know this because I'm just um I'm sharing from experience. And sometimes it's it's exhaustion, you know, from trying to keep up with a version of yourself that was never designed for you. You know, I wasn't lazy, I wasn't broken, but I believed I was. And that's that's the problem. Like when I when I learned this early on, that was my challenge. Like, I started to believe that I was broken, that I was lazy, that I was the problem. Like, and that's where that shame came in, right? And and when you believe something's wrong with you, you start dialing down your own thermostat, right? You you play smaller, you hesitate, you overthink, um, you strive to be perfect. You want it to be perfect before you ever launch into doing anything, right? You hold yourself back before anyone else ever could. That's self-sabotage, right? And and I've i i'm sharing this, my friends, uh, because I know at some level, everyone has struggled with some form of self-sabotage, whether that's procrastination, self-criticism, self-medication, um, striving for perfection, being, you know, constantly hard on yourself and telling yourself these things that aren't even true. You know, we all have opinions, and you have an opinion about yourself. You have thoughts about yourself, but you don't have to believe everything that you think about yourself. You know what I'm saying? Like you get the choice to choose whether you believe that's gonna be true or not. And most of the times, especially those negative thoughts that we have, they're not even true. They're not even true, man. And I just want you to know today that you are the magic, and the magic is in you, and you have the ability to silence that villain in your mind because you are the hero of your story. And I want you to believe that about yourself because it's true, because it's true, because this one precious life you have is a gift, and we don't have time to be wasting on those negative thoughts and voices that keep us from fulfilling our destiny, fulfilling our dreams, our hopes for the future. All right. So I I want to share with you some some real practical ways to um to be intentional with those negative thoughts that that show up. Um and it was so helpful for me, this little four-step process. And so whether you have ADHD or you don't have it, here's what I know um you have and I have is those negative thoughts, like those voices like in our heads, right? Like those those uh voices, again, that were not good enough. That how can you not um do this finally? Or what's wrong with you? Or you should be further along at this stage of your life. You should have more followers, you should have more likes, you know, like all those things that just keep playing and playing and playing in our heads. Yeah. Remember the ones that feel loud at times? And so this has been super helpful. And I hope it is for you as well. Um, because what I started to do, um, and what I continue to do is when those negative thoughts show up, I didn't just feel it, because it's easy to feel it, right? And that's the that's the challenge. That was especially uh, and sometimes it continues to be those moments when I just feel it and I don't capture it, when I just feel it and I just sit in that feeling, which um is important. Like feelings are important. We we should feel those moments. But then, especially when when they're negative, right? You know, that that voice again, it's telling you things like um you're never gonna make it, or uh, what are you doing even trying? Or who do you think you are? I started to capture it literally. When my brain said, You're too scattered, Ruben, or you're inconsistent, Ruben, or you keep procrastinating, Ruben, right? Um, or you know, I started, you're you're this, right? Feeling that shame and and guilt. I I captured it literally. I caught it. When it said, you'll never be consistent, I caught it. And then I walked through these four steps that that that I want to talk about today. Catch, crush, correct, move. Catch, crush, correct, move. Catch the thought, crush it. Literally, I I picture myself crossing it out, demolishing that negative thought, and then I correct it. And so instead of you're scattered, I say, you're creative and fast. Yeah. Instead of uh you can't focus, I say you actually focus deeply on what matters, Ruben. You see, you you flip you flip the script. Instead of saying, Oh, you have ADHD, and um that's your problem, right? I say, actually, ADHD is my superpower. Come on now, you see. Uh instead of you're behind, I say, you're building something meaningful. And then here's the key. Here's the key. Then I move. Then I move, and by moving, I make a commitment to forgive myself. To be gracious to myself, man. To be kind and say, hey, Ruben, you gotta forgive yourself. That's not all that defines you. You know what I'm saying? That's part of your life, that's part of your chapter, but it's not your entire story. So you forgive yourself and then you move. You, you, you, you, part of that movement process is one tiny, one small action forward that you can do today. Maybe it's sending the email, maybe it's responding to the text. Maybe it's picking up the book and saying, you know what, I'm gonna read for five minutes or ten minutes. Maybe it's recording the episode, maybe it's writing down something, right? An outline of the idea, or maybe it's calling the friend who um, you know, is is gifted in what they do and telling them, teach me, show me, tell me how do I do this, right? Uh, because the truth is, right, everyone uh has gotten to where they are because of somebody who has gone before them. You know what I mean? And and so there really is a blueprint for everything. And somebody uh who does what you love, they've got a blueprint. They might not tell you, but they've got some steps on how. They might not tell you the you know that they have a physical blueprint. You know what I mean? That's what I'm trying to say. But but there's a way, there's a process. So awesome for those who have gone before and have done it. Like they they have the way. They have the blueprint. That's that's what I'm saying, taking that small tiny step because momentum doesn't require perfection. You know what it requires? Motion. It requires motion, it requires movement. And here's what's wild: the very brain, just oh, this was so good to me. Um, the very brain I use to criticize is the same brain that creates ideas, sees connections, feels deeply, and builds this community that I'm so passionate about. That I love to share this Disney magic, that I love to share weekly with you in this podcast or through my social uh media channels and to just inspire and encourage and help people who don't get a chance to be in the park to know that you don't have to be in a Disney park to feel the magic because you are the magic. And yes, I love being at Disney Park and I love sharing that with you, but I love you know feeling this excitement that happens when I get to share and someone can come away and say, wow, that was awesome. Thank you for this magic. Like, yes. Isn't it crazy that that same brain that I use to criticize, like my mind is actually the same one that that I also use to create those ideas and and and to create those connections and and to to just create this magic, like wow, that just moved me. You know, the thing the thing that I thought was my weakness started looking a lot like my superpower, like my strength, like my wiring. You know what I mean? It's not broken, just that's the way my brain is wired. And so what helped me was again, those four steps that I shared with you catch, crush, correct, and move, and repeating that and doing that over and over and over again until I finally am able to get that negative thought out of my mind. But it was this belief that, okay, so I have ADHD. So what? Okay. Now that I'm aware of it, awesome. What are we gonna do with it now? How am I gonna use that to my advantage, to my strength? I can sit back and keep, you know, whining or crying and whatever. You know, I had those moments, you know what I'm saying? But now, but then we step into it and we use that as a way to believe that we can do what we set our heart to. And nothing that we believe is a roadblock is a big enough roadblock to keep us back. Like we have the power to demolish that thing and keep stepping into everything that we desire in this life. And you know, I had to bring, of course, Disney, because you know I love it. And I want you to think about some Disney stories that that you love, that you enjoy, some I know um that are very familiar with, uh you're familiar with, and maybe some that I mentioned might be some of your favorites or your favorite characters, but think of Elsa. She thought her power was dangerous, didn't she? Uh Simba, Lion King, oh I just can't wait to be king. Simba ran from who he was because he felt unworthy, he felt shame, he felt guilt. Yeah. So yeah, come on, Simba. Hercules felt different and out of place. He's like, something's like wrong. Something's what's what's happening here? He couldn't he couldn't quite understand. So so what if their problem was actually their power all along? Yes. See, see how we're flipping the script? What if the thing that made them feel isolated was the very thing that would change everything once they embraced it? See, that's not just a movie theme, that's life. So what if your anxiety makes you uh empathetic? Or what if your sensitivity makes you compassionate? What if your ADHD makes you creative? Because it does. What if your past makes you resilient? What if your struggle makes you strong? What if the thing you've been trying to fix is actually something to store, like a gift that you're now going to use, right, to empower you, right, to step into your future. Yeah. Think about your favorite ride at Disneyland or Walt Disney World or any Disney park. And I'm pretty sure that the ride you're thinking about has some kind of twist or drop or a sharp turn, something, right? If it were flat and predictable, guess what? Nobody's gonna really wait in line. Think about that, right? It's the thrill is in the movement, the growth is in the stretch, and maybe your struggle isn't a villain. So stop seeing the struggle as the villain and and start seeing it as part of your story that strengthens you and equips you and empowers you to be able to step into that story with confidence, with courage that you've got through your struggles so you can get through the next one, right? Look at you where you are today. And I know you've got a story to tell. I know you've been through some things. And look at you now, like you're you're still here. If you're listening to this right now, you're breathing, you're alive, you've got so much to offer, hope, and and and and a beautiful, amazing future, a happily ever after that I keep talking about. Listen, you gotta hear me. Your struggle isn't the villain of your story, it's the origin of your strength. Like the thing that that is your struggle, I want you to believe today isn't your flaw, it's your framework for impact. If you're listening to this right now and you feel behind, if you feel like something about you disqualifies you, if you've been secretly beating yourself up because you think everyone else has it together, I want to tell you something clearly, especially for for those of you who who have. ADHD and you struggle with that, like feeling like your your brain is broken. It's not. You are not defective. Okay? I need you to believe that. You're different. Your brain works differently than most people. And different. Guess what? It can be dynamic. Your job isn't to erase your wiring. It's to understand it and lead it, right? It's your brain. You can't erase that. But you can catch the lie. You can crush it. You can correct it. And you can move. You can forgive yourself and take that one tiny step today to move. Again and again and again. And when the doubt comes back, you do it again. That's not weakness. That's growth. That's becoming, my friends. And you are becoming. You are awesome. So, my dear friends, I want you to know I'm cheering for you. I'm in your corner. I'm sending you just nothing but love and pixie dust and just happiness and joy your way. I believe in you. Remember, you don't need a new brain. You need a new script. You're not broken, you're becoming. And today I hope that this episode really encouraged you. And if it did, would you please share it with someone who might need this inspiration, this encouragement? And if this resonated deeply, I'd love to hear from you. If you have ADHD, Ed, I'd love for you to send me a message. And uh just I want to continue to be a place here, to create a space of just encouragement and joy and that dizzy magic and happiness. Because here's what I know: this community isn't built on perfection, it's built on people willing to grow, willing to experience the magic in their lives, which is part of the growth, right? And as always, I want you to know to keep treating, keep believing, keep unlocking the magic that is within you. Because I say always, you are the magic. Because the magic is in you.